I think someone stole my identity. I got a call from my bank about a suspicious transaction. Someone used my card and tried to buy almost $3,000 worth of bespoke art deco furniture. I told the bank that it couldn't have been me because I preferred more contemporary styles of interior design. The customer service representative laughed but I was being serious. I couldn't even tell you what an art deco couch looks like.
I think someone stole my identity. One day it was here and the next day it was gone. Did I leave it in the coat check when I went to the natural history museum? I don't think so. Maybe I left it on top of my car while I was getting out my keys to unlock my car and forgot that I put it on top of my car and just left it there and drove away and it fell off the top of my car. I think I might be losing my mind.
I'm pretty sure someone stole my identity. I don't really know what you're supposed to do when that happens. I went to the police station and explained my situation but they just referred me to someone called a "crisis counselor." I Googled "what should I do if I lost my identity" but it only comes up with relationship advice. I don't need relationship advice, relationships are very low on my list of priorities right now.
If you have my identity, please give it back.