Wednesday, December 13, 2017


Lately I have been spending a lot of my time writing erotica fanfiction about the Disney Pixar movie Cars. There is something about the universe of the movie Cars that I find fascinating and sexually intriguing, and I try to explore that through my writing.

I have many unanswered questions about the movie Cars that were never addressed in the movie itself, mainly about how the cars have sex. Also, if a car in the movie Cars is a new model, say, a 2006 model, keeping in mind that the movie Cars came out in 2006, does that mean that the car is one year old? The female love interest in the movie Cars is a 2002 Porsche 911 Carrera. Does that mean that when the movie came out she was four years old? Does that make Lightning McQueen a pedophile? These are all difficult questions that I have struggled to answer.

I understand very little about the movie Cars but I also understand very little about real cars. I am not just talking about how cars work. The metaphysical existence of cars in general confuses me. I cannot wrap my head around them. The other night I was watching cars driving on the freeway and I realized I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Why do people accept cars as a normal component of society? Humans traveling 70 miles an hour in an aluminum box surrounded by other aluminum boxes all traveling 70 miles an hour. We control them like they are extensions of our own bodies, giant metal robots we use to go through our daily lives.  A car is such a normal concept to grasp. Children know what cars are. They do not question their conceptual meaning. So why is it that I cannot fucking understand them?

I look at the cars driving on the freeway and think to myself, "What the fuck," "Look at these fucking things," "This shit is crazy." I watch the cars going into drive-thru restaurants. I watch the cars getting washed at the car wash. In the future, there will be no need to ever get out of your car. You will be born in your car and you will die in your car. You will be a car. Like in the movie Cars.

Then I get in my own car and drive to work, pretending like it's normal and everything is fine. On the way to work today a car was stopped in the left turn lane during rush hour traffic. The hazard lights were on. People were maneuvering around the car in order to turn left. I stopped my car behind it and got out. There were two older Hispanic women in the car. English was not their first language. I asked them if they needed help. The car had run out of gas. The police and AAA were 20 minutes away. I told them to put it in neutral and that I would help push, but the car was facing uphill on a steep incline so I did not have enough strength to push the car. I looked around. We are surrounded by cars. There are so many cars. But no people. Nobody to help push. Only cars.

If a person tripped and fell in front of you, would you stop to help them up? If you were a car in the movie Cars, the equivalent of this would be running out of gas. But this isn't the movie Cars, this is real life, and people have places to be. They are late for work. So none of the cars stop. None of the people get out. They are trapped inside the cars. They have become cars. It's the future now.

Now that you understand my interest in the movie Cars, I'd like to share with you a short selection from my writing:

        Lightning McQueen dimmed the headlights as he cruised into the garage. Sally Carrera was already there waiting for him, polished and glistening in the reflection of Lightning's low beams.
        "I've been waiting all night for you, Lightning," she murmured softly.
        "Sorry babe," replied Lightning, purring his engine, "Long day at the track."
        "Enough talk," growled Sally. "Fuck me in my ass with with your big cock."
        "With pleasure," Lightning said with a wink.
        Sally quickly executed a perfect three-point turn. Lightning floored it and launched himself over Sally's trunk, jamming his erect penis into her exhaust pipe.
        "OH, LIGHTNING!" screamed Sally in ecstacy.
        "I'm fucking your ass!" yelled Lightning as he quickly shifted between reverse and drive.
        "Cum in my ass, Lightning!"
        Lightning let out a loud honk as he came, filling Sally's exhaust pipe with hot sticky oil.
        "Now let's do it again," said Sally, "But this time, I want you to cum in my trunk."
        "Life is a highway," said Lightning, "I wanna ride you all night long."

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