Sunday, December 31, 2017

Coin Fountain

There is a large fountain in the center of the garden at a famous art museum. The sun reflects off the many coins scattered across the tiles on the bottom of the fountain. There are so many coins. There must be hundreds, if not thousands. So many wishes, so many hopes and dreams, littering the bottom of the fountain.

I would guess that there is at least $500 removed from circulation thanks to the fountain and the people who paid $15 parking to come to the art museum, where they can look at million dollar art and eat $16 roast beef sandwiches at the museum cafe.

In 1953, when a tuna salad sandwich cost a nickel, people never threw coins into artificial ponds. They would never throw a tuna salad sandwich into a fountain. $500 worth of coins is still $500. Think of what you could buy. A previous generation iPhone, like an iPhone 6S, or maybe a guitar amp. Would you throw a guitar amp into a fountain? But to be fair, these are coins, and it isn't 1953 anymore. There isn't a lot that you can buy for a dime or a quarter. So I don't blame em. Coins are dumb. Chuck em in a lake.

In the UK, there are 2p coins. "P" is short for pence, which is like our cents, so these are the equivalent of a two penny coin. Why? Why would anyone ever have a use for this? They are so dumb. Most countries have gotten rid of pennies because nobody uses them. Why the fuck would anybody ever need a coin worth two of them? They are more useless than a coin worth just one penny.

Sooner than you think, well within your lifetime, there will be no more coins and no more bills, only FreedomCoin, a US-created cryptocurrency mined exclusively by the Federal Reserve. You will not be able to throw coins into fountains anymore. Instead, you will make a wish using ApplyPay on your iPhone 16S, and you will see a holographic coin on the bottom of the fountain when you look at it through the augmented reality display on the screen of your $5,000 phone shaped like a cock.

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